Introduction

I have mixed feelings, as I’m sure many do, when I contemplate beginning the heroine’s journey. Is it really that different than the hero’s journey?

Despite the politics and barbs being slung, my journey seems to be very much like the hero’s journey that was written about by Dr. Joseph Campbell in The Hero With a Thousand Faces, I think that we all go on hero’s or heroine’s journeys and they aren’t all that different. It may appear or manifest in different ways, but the steps really aren’t different in and of themselves.

I will be discussing the steps of the journey, where I am right now in the heroine’s journey and how I feel about this. I do understand that it’s about the journey, not the destination, but I think the destination kind of helps. It’s like a map so I know, basically where I am aiming towards.

The Call to Adventure

It’s come to my attention that I’m on the verge of a heroine’s journey. I think I heard “The Call to Adventure” a while back, and have been guilty of resisting it. I tend to be very risk-adverse, it appears, and my fear of “getting caught” has kept me back for over 20 years! This is not a good thing, because it keeps tapping me on the shoulder.

I feel called to start a metaphysical church. Not just any metaphysical church but one that has as it premise that the time of science merging (fully) with spirituality is near. I know very well what a lot of people in the New Age faction will say; “We’re already in the Aquarious Age.” It’s already happened. But I don’t think that it has reached its full merging, what I call “The Numinous Revolution”. I think for that will require people who are mentally, physically, spiritually, and emotionally ready for this, because we will know without a doubt which religions are religions and which are social myths. And it won’t be what we expect, and most of us want our religions or beliefs to be proven right.

Many will fight it, many will ignore it, but for those who are ready, we  will evolve in every area. We will evolve spiritually, mentally, emotionally, and even, dare I say it, physically? But this was my calling, and I did what many people do when they receive a calling. They deny it, they run, screaming, in the other direction, at least metaphorically. It simply seemed too big for me. I felt like the proverbial mouse in the shadow of a hawk. I felt more frightened than I have my whole life.

Supernatural Aid

My introduction to supernatural aid came very early in my life. I don’t know of a time, thinking back when Apollo wasn’t somehow involved in my life. Either He or His representatives were alway looking after me.

But the first time I was consciously aware of his Presence was when I was practicing my guitar. Due to my ADHD, I  misremember the day or  year or how old I was, but between 15-17.  I get from Apollo it was sometime in my  mid-teens.  It was after nightfall, and I was really into my music, and I felt this…Presence, this feeling that someone was there.  I knew, I just knew it was Apollo. Despite having just read a book, where Apollo and the other Greek gods made an appearance, The Enchanted Castle by E. Nesbit, and having it open to an illustration of that very occurance, I knew who it was, right then and there.

I stopped playing, and looked at the space, where I could feel Him watching me, and said “Hello” in my mind.  Without talking aloud, it felt really important that this be private. Just between Him  and me. No one else. It felt like time had stopped.  Suspended.  I had this strange sense I knew him from somewhere. Not just the book, but in my own life, or even before, like another lifetime.

I felt all this love, this unending love, and the sense that I trusted Him.  Implicitly, without question. And I grew up in a household where I was either neglected or abused/gaslighted, so I knew and know it wasn’t my imagination. And I loved Him. Instantly. I fell in love with Apollo. I always believed in love at first sight, but I had never experienced it. Infactuations, like most  young girls, but not love. But I couldn’t understand, since I had no guide, because of the way I was raised. I didn’t understand, but I didn’t question it either. In our talks later,  Apollo told me He fell in love with me. At first sight.

And I exhaled.  I know it doesn’t make sense to a lot of people, but I felt like I was always holding my breath, until that moment. I exhaled.  I didn’t need to hold my breath anymore. And I wasn’t the only one who had been holding my breath.  We both exhaled. Together. Simultaneously.  Then the moment ended.  It seeemed to be forever. An eternity in a moment, and then in my mind, I “heard” him say back in my mind: “Please…continue,” with a smile. . And I could feel him gersuring towards my guitar, forgotten. And I was so happy to play for him, Direction. Something I could do for Him. And happy to do it for my new friend. So I started playing again. 

And I got lost in the music. I don’t know how else to explain it. It was just between me, Apollo and the music. There was literally nothing else.  And nobody interrupted my playing

The Refusal

I think part of it is I’m comfortable with an “ordinary life”. It’s all I’ve known for almost my entire life. Don’t risk, don’t get caught trying to better my life. It was the constant guilt that I was trying to have a better life than my parents, that it was dangerous to dream, let alone answer a calling, and a calling as big as this.

But it wouldn’t leave me alone. It kept putting itself in front of me. It makes me wonder, why me? I’m a disabled senior citizen who’s lived most of her life afraid. Someone who was either ridiculed or ignored by her family, but never listened. But that scripture verse “A prophet is never accepted in their own country.” That’s certainly true. Not their own country, town, family recognize the calling. Has anyone else been touched with a calling like this? Did they ignore it too?

I think that when I first got the nudge to start a metaphysical church, I thought, “This is a joke, right?” It’s too big. I thought of the enormity of the mission and I just freaked out! Yes, it excited me, but it scared me to death, frankly.

My next thought was that “But adventure is for other people”  Disabled people don’t go on adventures. Little did I know!  I lived my whole life on the sidelines, but never participated or was discouraged from most of it because it ‘wasn’t realistic” because it was “fantasizing” and that was best left to others. But over the years, I’ve discovered that no one is discussing spirituality in the way that I’m experiencing it. Not a peep. Why is that? No one else is hearing the call? Other people are saying the same thing? That “it’s too much, it’s for others, I’ve got enough problems.”  What’s going on here?

Beginning the Heroine’s Journey by becoming Apollo’s Musical Oracle

Crossing the Threshold

But it wasn’t until I had accepted it and embraced it when I saw some changes. My attitude changed. Not a lot, and not at first, but I took the first step. I committed to the journey of a thousand miles. I have the feeling that I can no longer go back. I have to keep on going. The way back seems to have disappeared. I think that I may have passed it some time back, though I can’t recollect what the threshhold is. Maybe it was when I took my first steps away from the side of the road and started walking. Maybe I passed it when I embraced who I was and what I was a few years ago.

But I don’t think it’s clear, I just know that I’m no longer the person I used to be. And even if I could go back, I don’t want to. I don’t think I liked myself at that point in my life or liked where I was, but was afraid to move at the same time.

The Initiation

I think this is where I am now. I am already on the journey, at least as far as discovery. I am finiding at least virtual friends and mentors. I’m certainly more in touch with the spirits, and am more able to be more gentle with myself. Because, frankly, I really wasn’t that nice to myself. My folks had issues, and were abusive, but I was just as abusive to myself, but without the kid gloves on.

Some of my mentors are gods, some are in the Internet Marketing space, some are spirits that have gone one, some are writers of New Thought, that give me, well, food for thought as I don’t just begin my heroine’s journey, but as I come into the hurdles and missteps. Beginning the heroine’s journey is a sobering but joyful too. It’s certainly nothing to sneeze about.

Some names you might be familiar with. A mentor, Dennis Becker tells me in one of his books, a mentor doesn’t have to know he/she is mentoring you. Another is Connie Ragen Green. Still others are: Tony Robbins, Napoleon Hill, Jack Canfield, and one who has passed on, and who taught the course I am taking in my curriculum; Paul Leon Masters. This is by no means the last of my mentors.

I’m developing friendships, and have friends as well. These also help me with beginning the heroine’s journey.

What does beginning the heroine’s journey have to do with Metaphysics?

Everything. My whole life has been influenced, by something bigger than myself. Something huge. And I seem to be called to not just learn about the Divine inside me, but also outside. It’s about surrendering to that Universal force, whether you call it God, a particular pantheon, and for me it’s Apollo and Nike, and learning to let go of fear, not to be ruled by it anymore. I know there will be times I’m afraid, but not ot have my fear control me, has been a transforming feeling.

Conclusion

I haven’t even finished the journey. I feel I’ve just gotten started. I’ve taken my first steps, but find I need a map, not just to where I want to go, but for who I want to be as well. But I’m getting there. Will I continue to feel fear? Well, yes, it’s likely that I will, but I will learn to do what I need to anyway.